To Have Loved You
A short story about my experience with my first partner.
As I read the text message that I had just received, I didn't attempt to stop the tears from flowing. I skimmed through the paragraph over and over, hoping and wishing and praying it wasn't real. The emotions hit me like a train. It was true. My worries had been confirmed. He was leaving me, just like everyone else had. I sat in my bed and sobbed. Everything we did together, all of the memories, did they mean nothing to him?
***
After a few hours, I found the courage to tell my family. They comforted me, but… they didn't seem to understand how much this boy meant to me. I didn't care when they said they knew he wasn't in the right headspace to be in a relationship. I just wanted him back.
My entire life, I was always abandoned by those I thought would be with me forever. I tried to seek validation through a relationship and rushed into things too quickly. I slipped up one time and he just… abandoned me, just like that, as if what we had never mattered. It hurt, because it just reinforced the idea that nobody would ever stay.
I hated him for leaving me. I hated his guts. I hated everything about him and his family, but above all, I missed them. I missed them all so much, even his annoying little sister. I often found myself thinking of what could have been if I hadn't lost control of my emotions that one day in July. I felt more alone than ever before.
***One Year Later***
I strode down the street towards the park we used to walk through often. In my hand I held a yellow balloon, the string keeping it close to me. I arrived at the third parking lot before walking over to the small neighboring pond. I sat down beside a small sapling with blooming pink flowers spread across its delicate branches. Cherry blossoms.
I looked at the balloon I carried, floating high above me. I let go. "Goodbye, old friend." With that, despite everything that had happened, I smiled. I shouldn't have spent all that time hating him for leaving. I should have been thankful for the memories we made and the lessons I had learned.
***Two Months Later, Present Day***
As I approach the pond, I glance over at the little sapling from before. I grin, noticing that the blossoms have made way for beautifully healthy leaves. 'This little guy is a lot like me,' I think to myself, 'it'll continue to grow even stronger through every hardship.'
I'm glad I got to meet you. I could never thank you enough for the memories we forged together. You helped me become a better, stronger person. I've learned so much from my time with you. To have loved you was the best thing I have ever done, even if the end of our journey together was bitter.